Being "The Extra" in Other's Life...

I feel its me there, standing alone, calling her out while she enjoys under the sun and shares her happiness with others. But I know she will call me out when she's blue, its autumn in her life. But there's love here too.

I never imagined that i would ever experience it. I have been fortunate enough to have a lot of friends at every stage of my life, and each friend so different from the other. There are the Hi-Bye ones, then the "Have a nice time" friends, the "Through the thick and thin" friends, the counselors, the flirtatious ones, the "Long distance" best buddies, the fake ones (the rarest and endangered species in my life. But they are there.) and the "There-not there" friends (again rare).
Its such a wonderful feeling to know that there are people (apart from your family) you can trust and bank upon. I am grateful to all of them who love me for who I am and I hope I'll be there for them always.

It was quite a piece of information when my doctor told me about the positive effects a healthy relationship can have on our lives. I thought I would never have any issues with anyone of my friends. But then she hurt me big time. I thought we were really good friends, not together just because of the circumstances, at least that's what I thought. We were not in constant touch for quite some time. I was busy with my career and she was with her's. And then she left. Not a word about it to me. This made me think about the friendship we shared. Once she told that had I not been supportive to her, I would not have made it to her friend list- a list which also has friends who ridicule her. I still don't know what post I hold in her life. May be I have moved from being a good friend to just a friend... Being the Extra....seeking me out only when needed....

Now it's been a week of stealing time and writing this stuff. When I started out with this all i wanted to do was express my sadness, frustration and the feeling of neglect. And till this point I guess I was only trying to do that. But I don't know what just went through my mind. I have just started to realize the true meaning. I have just learned something. I had it all wrong. May be she considers me worthy, strong and supportive enough to share her embarrassment and sadness with me.

May be I am trying to be optimistic and relive myself from all those negative thoughts. But now I don't care what place I hold in her heart and life. I don't expect anything in return. But I will be there for her as always. Not just her but all of my precious friends and our friendship that I believe in.

I guess its time to look at this image in a different way. As sunlight and blue moon, spring and autumn are equally important, so are the friends for happiness and sadness. There's love at both ends, even if it means being lonely otherwise and giving company to someone when needed. Its not bad being "the Extra" after all.

"People say true friends must always hold hands. but true friends don't need to hold hands because they know the other hand will always be there."
- Anonymous